Healing From Trauma & What That Means For You!

Healing From Trauma & What That Means For You!

We hear about trauma all the time, but do we really understand what it is, how it is affecting us today and how it is shaping our future? If you are reading this, it’s likely that you are wondering the same.  How do we know if we have been affected by trauma? A few weeks ago, I did an introductory interview for my Facebook Community, to my friend Carol from Moveon Counselling and we discussed just that and I wanted to share it with you too! You might be surprised to learn that ‘trauma’ doesn’t always have to be caused by a catastrophic event to be classed as trauma. Read on to hear what Carol has to say and watch our chat to find out more. I hope you enjoy, Cassie. x A message from Carol of Moveon Counselling Being a parent or carer is hard work!! Especially if the person you are caring for needs a lot of support and displays behaviours that need a lot of patience and understanding. It can be pretty overwhelming and never ending! When you’ve had a life that’s thrown you a lot of challenges, then having to cope with the day-to-day problems that come with caregiving and living with disability just seems unfair. Surely life was never meant to be this hard?? When we are born and throughout our childhood, we are discovering, learning and working out what the world is like. Is it safe? Is there a place for me? Am I lovable? Beliefs Beliefs are developed at this time and sometimes they’re negative. They can stay with us for the rest of our...
“Some days I don’t know how you do it”

“Some days I don’t know how you do it”

My friend sent me a message last week with the words “Some days I don’t know how you do it”.  She often see’s us going through our own ups and downs with the mental and physical health of my son’s.  She saw on Monday that after my son’s 3 week hospital admission, there was little improvement to his health status. My friend, however, is going through an incredibly tough and confronting time herself. The whole family is and has been for many years with her having to face her own serious health battles too. Right now they are facing serious health issues for one of their children and are having to make decisions that will potentially affect the rest of their child’s quality of life. The fact of the matter is, that she is trying to be strong for everyone but is on the verge of cracking herself. Not only is she trying to hold her family together during their own difficult times, she is dealing with grief and uncertainty around the health of one of her friends, who is terminally ill. How do I respond?  We all have our different stuff don’t we?  Differing levels of resilience from person to person and environmental factors can change our ability to cope at any given time.  So my response: “Well I guess I figure all the worry and stress really doesn’t help me or anyone else. In fact, for me it makes it worse. I can’t think clearly, can’t function properly and I sure as hell can’t make decisions effectively. I guess I have practiced it (coping) over a long, long time. Monday, I...
Emotions for a child – a poem

Emotions for a child – a poem

In the days and weeks that followed my son’s diagnosis, no one could take away our pain or our grief. There isn’t really much that people can say or do to change it? You just have to ride the wave. A few weeks after the shock had settled I received a card and letter from my aunty. She, like all of our family, was hurting deeply for us.  She herself was hurting.  What does the future hold for our darling boy?  Her letter expresse her sorrow and grief.  She penned a beautiful poem. The words flowed from one parent to another. Words that simply could not be said.  Words that strike a chord deep inside. Words that are so special, so precious that they encapsulate every emotion we were feeling. A message I will never forget and always find comfort in.  She gave me permission to feel, feel everything. The parting words from her said simply: “The love just comes easy, you don’t have to try. Let little Matthew help you just live life and enjoy. He is wise beyond his years and will guide the way” Fourteen years later and it is still raw as ever.   Emotions of a Child is dedicated to all people affected by a life changing “diagnosis”.  I hope you find it as special as I do.     EMOTIONS FOR A CHILD by Kerri Trengove Sheer joy and wonder at the miracle of such a perfect, beautiful little bundle Shock and disbelief That your perfect little child has been given a ‘diagnosis’ “there must be a mistake” “I’m going to go to sleep...
The Diagnosis

The Diagnosis

Last year I was asked to participate in a Cystic Fibrosis South Australia (CFSA) fundraising project for the 65 Roses Ball.  I was asked to be interviewed on camera – no problem.  As it turned out, after all of the planning, the interview happened to fall on the 2nd day of what turned out to be a 3-week frustrating admission.  Perfect, because it would be real, I thought. The first question was up and I was asked “What is CF?”, a seemingly simple question for a normally well-spoken “have it all together most of the time” kind of mum.  Five words in and I was a blubbering mess!  I was mortified.  I thought, “what is wrong with me?”  I was really taken back at my uncontrolled emotion.  I have been asked this so many times that my responses are well practised and somewhat detached.  I normally provide factual and in-depth information, explain the emotional stressors but rarely connect with them.  Sometimes when I talk about CF it is almost in a clinical sense.  So now it seems that I am human! It took me back to Matthew’s diagnosis. Rarely do I allow myself to cast back and feel that emotion. It is simply to raw. My heart aches for that young 24-year-old first-time mother.  No one deserves that heartache, the shock, the immense grief and despair that any parent feels when told there is something wrong with their child and worse still when doctors state in a matter of fact manner that there is a life expectancy, a cap on your child’s life. I decided to show Matthew off for the first time...