In the days and weeks that followed my son’s diagnosis, no one could take away our pain or our grief. There isn’t really much that people can say or do to change it? You just have to ride the wave.
A few weeks after the shock had settled I received a card and letter from my aunty. She, like all of our family, was hurting deeply for us. She herself was hurting. What does the future hold for our darling boy? Her letter expresse her sorrow and grief. She penned a beautiful poem. The words flowed from one parent to another. Words that simply could not be said. Words that strike a chord deep inside. Words that are so special, so precious that they encapsulate every emotion we were feeling. A message I will never forget and always find comfort in. She gave me permission to feel, feel everything.
The parting words from her said simply:
“The love just comes easy, you don’t have to try.
Let little Matthew help you just live life and enjoy.
He is wise beyond his years and will guide the way”
Fourteen years later and it is still raw as ever. Emotions of a Child is dedicated to all people affected by a life changing “diagnosis”. I hope you find it as special as I do.
EMOTIONS FOR A CHILD
by Kerri Trengove
Sheer joy and wonder
at the miracle of such a perfect, beautiful little bundle
Shock and disbelief
That your perfect little child has been given a ‘diagnosis’
“there must be a mistake”
“I’m going to go to sleep and wake up and find that it’s just a bad dream”
For your beautiful little bundle
Self blame and guilt
That you are somehow responsible for this condition
Sorrow and grief
For all that may or may not happen in the future
Cry for the anticipated suffering
Cry for the anticipated loss of a normal life
Cry for the things in life your child may not have
For your still beautiful bundle
For life’s cruel choice for your little child
“It’s not fair, why us?”
For your little bundle growing more beautiful every day
Heartbreak and hopelessness
Because you cannot change what nature has dealt
Aren’t parents supposed to be able to protect their children from all that’s bad?
He’s still beautiful
More anger, sorrow, heartbreak for all the same reasons over and over
Acceptance and resignation
This is not a nightmare, it’s real and it’s not going to go away
My child needs some extra special care in his life
So be it
For your child who needs some extra special care
Will ensure that you are just the right people your beautiful child needs
That your child who needs some extra special care is still the same special little bundle
you loved the moment you set eyes on him.
Your child will still need the same nurturing, guidance, support and love in his life that you always planned to give him
He’ll just need a little extra
That you will do everything in your power to allow your child to experience life in the same way that all of our children do
Focus on the things that CAN be done not what can’t be done
Learn all there is to learn, do all that you can do
Because your precious little bundle will no doubt be the one to help you get through
He will make you laugh
He will make you cry
He will make you angy
You will watch him in awe as he grows and learns
That he is doing things that may bring him harm
“Look, Mum and Dad, no hands!”
Not to let anticipation of what may or may not be, rob you and your precious bundle of the wonderful life you deserve
For the gift of sharing life and love with such a beautiful bundle.