Clinic emotions

Clinic emotions

Today is clinic day for Matthew.  Clinic means multiple doctors, tests, needles and examinations.  It means so many unknowns. We have been lucky enough to have had an eight week break between visits to the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) Clinic.  Clinic for Matthew involves an hour trip into the hospital, a day of school and a day of waiting around.  We arrive, struggle to find a park and then race to get to our appointment on time.  As we approach the hospital we place a mask on our faces (largely to protect Matthew from dangerous bacteria) and dodge the multitude of smokers who line the pathways to the entrance.  We have NO way of escaping them.  Matthew often holds his breath just to get in.  I digress. It is a day where emotions bubble to the surface, many that surprise us.  For all of the physical obstacles that Matthew faces on clinic day there more obstacles that can’t be seen.  It affects each one of us differently.  Anticipation is often high, hopes higher and fears… well, I am sure you can imagine. Just entering the hospital brings the reality and gravity of Matthew’s situation.  At times it brings back memories that are still raw, of times gone by where Matthew has been so gravely ill.  For most the health care system often measures a persons’ health based on “numbers”. Numbers are often the difference between an admission or not.  That aside they give us a reality check on how Matthew is really doing.  For a person with CF, you can’t see what is happening on the inside. Over the years...